Meeting an Internet Lover
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Dare I say it happened to me? It was a long time ago but I remember it like it was yesterday. We had been flirting online for weeks and had progressed to phone conversations. I thought he had a great voice and he said he was turned on by mine. Who wouldn’t have been flattered by that? I thought he was perfect for me and couldn’t wait til we had an opportunity to meet. We’d meet online to chat and we’d talk on the phone and soon the phone bills were more than a plane ticket. Could someone, anyone, be perfect for me? I had to know.
My grown children were shocked. I was NOT to meet this man.
“He could be an axe murderer,” said my daughter.
“He could be a jerk,” said my son.
They both were worried for my safety and all I could think of was what if he WAS perfect for me. Did I want to go through my entire life wondering if I’d missed out on the good one? I’d already had a bad one and didn’t want another one like that.
We made plans to meet but all we promised each other was that we would each have a good time. No other promises were made. I think many people meeting through the net make a big mistake by promising love or sex or anything in particular. What if you don’t like them? You might feel obligated to have sex with someone you have no desire for - no thanks. I knew we’d have a good time because we enjoyed each other’s company online and on the phone so in person couldn’t be too bad.
I made the journey and he was waiting for me with a bouquet of roses and when he saw me he threw them on the floor and put his arms around me and kissed me. How cool was that? He did pick up the flowers and give them to me after the kiss. He was exactly like he’d been on the net. He was intelligent, fun, sexy, friendly, honest, witty and did I say sexy?
We got to his place and in his great concern for my exhaustion from the travel, he suggested that I take a shower and lie down.
“Nothing will happen, you just need some rest.”
Uh huh. I took the shower and went to lie down and we got up after we’d had sex SEVEN times.
It’s been more than 13 years since we met and he’s still perfect for me.
Having Babies
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You know, before I had my first baby I was really quite modest. I would have to think for weeks before making an appointment for a pap smear and when I got to the doctor’s office and into the stirrups it was a game of yes you can spread your knees and no I can’t. Then I got pregnant. It seems that for a pregnant woman, every medical person you meet wants to peek between your legs. To prepare you for the big event, I suppose.
The delivery.
You start having a few pains and after a while decide it’s time to call the doctor and head for the hospital. So far so good. Modesty still intact. The MOMENT you arrive at the hospital you are no longer a human woman. You are a baby machine and you’re turned on and in high gear. Even though the staff at the hospital have been through this thousands of times, they all have to have a good look and then someone reports that you’re not dilated enough so sit and wait. Later they check again and insert the fetal monitor. That’s so others can see how much pain you’re in without your having to tell them.
As the pain increases and the baby starts down speedbump lane, you’ve got your legs spread wide apart and people are walking past you right and left and all of them take a peek “down the hole” to see if they can see a head. What’s really amazing to me was that by that time I didn’t care if the Pope himself had a peek, it just didn’t matter, I wanted that baby on the outside of me!
For a few days after delivery, you are still remembering that parts of you belonged to the world but it does go away. About 6 months later and you’re feelling great again, you go right back to being modest. And then you get pregnant again.
Boobs Float
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That’s right, if you’ve got ‘em big enough and you’re swimming nude, they float. I don’t like to swim nude because, as you might have guessed, I have big boobs. It’s uncomfortable to swim with them bobbing up and down like a little kid’s floaties. I much prefer a swimsuit that ropes those puppies in.
Now if I’m not actually swimming but doing a bit of skinny dipping with the man of my dreams, a little bit of floating ain’t bad. I mean he doesn’t have to go chasing for them, does he? They’re right at the water’s edge ready to be taken.
I Get What I Want
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I’ve always been able to get what I want. Even as a kid, if I REALLY wanted something, I got it. I’m not talking about indulgent parents because I didn’t have any of those, but what I have always had is a vivid imagination of what I wanted. We’ve all heard the sayings, “If you think you can, you can,” etc. It’s true. If you can think it up and believe it can happen and expect it to happen, it will.
It’s also true that if you think about something you don’t want.. you’ll get that too. It’s like there’s only a one-way think. So if you’re wanting something spectacular to happen in your life, think good thoughts about it. Turn away from negativity and doubt and fear and also turn away from negative people. Can’t never did anything, my father always said. (I’m sure he got that from someone else!)
Some friends have asked me if I feel guilty “getting lucky” as frequently as I do and I say no. I think there is abundance of everything and whether I “get mine” or I don’t, it’s not going to change what you or he or them over there get. When I want something I believe it will happen. Try it with confidence.